my workplace

It was empty white room, strange machines lying still. Two PCs and two monitors, two air conditioners, several chairs. An empty shelf on the side and two other desks – a door led to storage. The room smells like operation room. It reeks of alcohol. It’s also rather cold to keep these machines function without the risk of overheating.

This thing is my new toy. This building is where I had dreamed working since it was first established. Even though our financial problem is still running high, I am proud being one of employees in the biggest nanocenter in this nation. That’s the only pride I can take.

This is where I choose to be.

I was blessed. I am here because my college friend got a job in other company so she had to leave the lab – also there was no one wanting to be an operator, let alone taking a job that gives you uncertain future. I took the job even though my knowledge of it was below zero. I didn’t get any training beforehand – I didn’t even know what kind of “good” is ‘good’. I just spoke my mind and commented anything about clients’ samples without having to be afraid what I spoke was wrong – it is indeed fun.

I quickly enjoy it. I will always be alone until my client comes. I can do anything I want if I’m not working for a client. I don’t have shitty boss. I know what I work on and I know what the result is. I have my own office where I can be alone and sleep on the table like a hobo (partly because the lab should be free from everything so I have nowhere to stay. They gave me a room). I put some novels on the rack there. In the morning while I’m waiting for clients, I can play games and draw to my heart content. Sometimes, the clients don’t have brains, but I can still manage – unlike back then in that company.

Profs came to me asking why I’m not getting my doctoral degree. I understand – I am really tempted to do it. But I need a stable job and money more than anything else now, and I don’t want to see my own (bleak) future, not until I’m fully recovered from the depression I got last year working for shitty boss. Until I feel that I’m worthy to go back studying, I’ll just become a trash operator in this beautiful building, and be helpful to everyone who accepts me.

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