Warning: profanities turned on. I can’t stand being calm or pretending there’s nothing happened anymore. I need a place to write rants since it’s not only pissing me off, this has been gone on three days straight and I think I’m going crazy. Nobody in this country understands how it feels since they’re the ones who pressurizing me to do this thing called marriage.

For short background story, have you been an almost 30-years old who never experience dating, doesn’t want to date or have sex, being in strict old Chinese/Asian culture who worships parents and marriage – e.g. having spouse and giving birth are children duty while in the same time they condemn young generation being the worst human being on earth? That’s me. And you know what, I’m tired of this.

Read on your own risk.

An aunt of mine said to her that she wanted to introduce a person for “me” because I’ve lived my entire lives not being interested in marriage whatsoever and she told her that this person wanted to meet me. I’ve blatantly said a big huge monstrous NO but she scolded me back with what ifs. More like threats that she said that I was a bad kid and disrespectful and saw me if I was a failure. When I ranted in fb (forgot to change the audience, fuck), people in my friendlist took that as joke and start telling me if I’m a fucking homo. Not only once, but this happens every damn single time, fucking everywhere that I didn’t have anyone to talk to about this fucking thing.


I’m really getting tired of this bullshit which happened every. single. days. non-stop. You think one purpose of life is getting a job, getting married, having children, being old, being taken care of children and die?? Shit, if that’s what I should have lived I’d better FUCKING DIE like RIGHT NOW. Having a spouse means having to take care of another human being and have to submit to that person. It’s like having another nagging parents who always tell you to go fucking married and always butts into your life as if you don’t have any free will! She blatantly told me in the face to have a fucking white abroad and marry there and change nationality – do you think it’s fucking easy to be so rich and have stable life there just because you got yourself a spouse of different nationality?! Fuck that shit and this greedy materialistic eastern culture. And for those who said they’re going to introduce their friends for me, why don’t you guys fucking strip yourselves and roll over on bed with them?! Goddammit, not in church, pastors, everyone in campus, people at home or in friendlist, people are sickfuck bastards.

I’m just kind enough to decrease world’s population by not giving birth to any creature that is used to take care of me in their entire lives to my funeral, and spare the trouble having another human being that in the end will make you feel like shit for eternity until you die since we would be bound by marriage oath. Honestly I’m not this asexual. I AM this asexual because this fucking idiot sex-driven society who only tells their offsprings to make children for their own ego and worthless reasoning that “you disrespect parents and a failure” just because you don’t fucking want to FUCK while forbidding them to actually befriend and had a crush as teenager.

I remember a person who happened to fall for me and asked me out with all codes that made me rather sick – did you think I was blind or shits? This person was pretty goddamn clueless about me, just because I appeared to be cheerful and clumsy around campus didn’t mean I was like that. For starter, I speak profanities online even though I brake myself outside. And I don’t tolerate anyone who never play video games or watch cartoons, especially overly religious person and someone who has no common sense.

Just because I claimed myself to be asexual doesn’t mean I don’t have any crush. This person, my ex-boss I always ranted here, was someone I admired since junior high. I knew this person since more than 10 years ago and yet, this asshole was more than an asshole. If I can, I want to dig a hole in his eyes and fucking piss on it. A human being whom I knew for years and a person I considered best friend! We knew each other for ages! And he was a freaking hypocrite! This asshat left me scar about fearing having to fucking work under a person until now. This cyka said he wanted to solve my depression while adding tons of it until I feel like I’m better off die. I ever wish I could go to hell with my attitude so if he was sent to heaven because he was so religious we would never meet again for eternity.

And then now people just suggest wanted to hook me up with someone else because they saw me via picture and order me to go out?!


I’m up for cutting men junks with giant scissors if that ever happened.