It’s been a while since I started writing again, huh – this and the last time I wrote is about my life which is not a good news too. Probably I will resume taking some pictures and writing in this blog about light stuffs without incorporating my messy mind in each post after I get back my melancholy. So, as I’ve promised in the beginning of 2015, I’ll always remind myself in each post about my life to try to look at something in some positive views instead of inserting some swearing words and abusing exclamation marks. It is not really about positive-thinking, sometimes putting your eyes in different perspective – whether it is positive or negative – is necessary.

Last time I checked my student ID, I am still a graduate student in a prestigious university who have reached final year and supposed to graduate this July because of the contract with scholarship provider. I failed this.

Aside of the excuses I can think of, it is… almost like a divine intervention. “Who knows” something like supervisors going on a trip for two months and cannot attend thesis defense can really happen to me. May be you can say I planned wrong strategy for my graduation or I should have done consultation more intensely with supervisors and had seminary before they went overseas, but – when you think about it – it wasn’t really my fault. The thesis defense and seminary weeks were planned by faculty department long time ago and I merely followed the schedule given. While I might be at fault for not discussing things first with supervisor, they too should have been responsible for their disappearance during scheduled process provided.

Nevertheless, this greatly angered me as a student who have to graduate because of my contract with scholarship provider. I had many excuses why I didn’t contact them often beforehand, but those were all just excuses. I would want to weep, but nothing could be done anymore. Then, a senior preacher during Sunday Service inadvertently provided me an advice during lecture. “God’s way is not your way” was the topic back then. It was like God wanted to say something to me and it made me think.

True. What if my graduation being halted was God’s way to lead me from being astray? I don’t know what He want to say by halting my graduation, but I can see at least one reason why.  I was hurrying with my thesis research and I wasn’t prepared yet to graduate with that kind of draft I was making. That was first and foremost – God (forcefully, may be, since the news about the Disappearance of Supervisors was abrupt too) wanted to give me more time to finish my research and write off my report. That was… kinda soothing in many ways.

By thinking that I had enough time not rushing things (back then I planned to finish two chapters in just three days), I could prepare for the defense better. It was indeed my fault for doing things near deadline, so I could accept that wholeheartedly (aside of some excuses about supervisors not helping at all – but I guess it’s a different story). Also, I managed to finish my newest comic before Cocoon Festival 2015 this May! When I knew the deadline was near and I needed to finish the thesis before 21st, I had wanted to abandon it. But this “divine intervention” made everything “better”.

I redo my bond with senior supervisor again when I had wanted to bypass all contacts and present the work without waiting for their approval, I have more time to do analysis and write the report, I managed to finish my comic before due date, I can play to my heart content until October — oops–… And lastly my heart feels a bit at ease, thinking it’s God’s way to tell me something, and I believe He has better plan for my life. I should have listened to His whisper, than planning on my own. This is surely a slap for me – but I also learn something from it… – a lesson that is more important than graduation.



N.B. I still had an unquenchable grudge to the supervisor who escaped his responsibility. Sorry, man, I will play around and procrastinate until you come back and I will have no plan on writing any papers anymore. Someone had to know that I am super angry with this – because halting my graduation means I have to pay the school fee for TWO semesters by myself… and it is not cute at all.