In our childhood (until now), we are watching a battle between hero and villain battling in which the heroes always win and justice always prevails. Any kind of superheroes movies, avengers, Superman, Batman, Spiderman, even stories based on history: Disney movies, Saving Private Ryan, any kind of doomsday-themed film, and some common superhero movies. Of course, heroes always win, the justice will always be the rightful thing to strive for. We are sided with the light; we don’t want to taint ourselves with selfish darkness like mass-murdering, ax-crazy, and polluted mentallity. We want to be heroes…

….perhaps I am an anti-hero, and I know the world holds different point of view than common people may think. It is naive to say “I am a hero” if he/she does something for another person. What “something”? What “motive”? Is the method he/she uses legal? Or illegal? Is it sin? Or is it the true justice? It will become a never-ending debate in our lives, but we indeed know the fact that our childhood is full of sense of heroism (until now for some people who loves to watch these kind of things). Now I will introduce you to something that can ruin your perspective.

Yes, it is anime, yes it is Japan, yes it is light novel…somehow I find more good things in anime/ light-novel than soap-opera or tv series… I wish it’s not just me.

Aside of the fighting and magic, alternate universe and some strange phenomenon that can’t be described with physics or logic, what I want to share is the main protago–ehm, main character’s view about heroism. As any man’s dream in the world, the main character wants to be a hero. But he knows that being a hero means he has to sacrifice something – he thinks what majority of us may think. Saving one hundred people by sacrificing one person is better than saving one person and sacrifice hundred, right? That’s what a “hero” would do – and that’s what police and soldier do. Kill one terrorist will save many people’s lives. Then let’s think in wider perspective.

Terrorist is not working alone, it always acts as a group. Then, let’s take “heroes” point of view. The hero has this extreme ideal and deal with those terrorists… until he knows the fact that he opposes and kills more people than the ones he protects. Take a good example of Indonesia’s “most” memorable 1965 event G30S which Soeharto kills over 500,000 people and let massive gang rapes to make communist political party disappear forever that time. Tell me, is Soeharto a hero to the country? He might be, he might be not, depends on who are talking, and the back motive of the said man. For the majority who are indoctrinated that communism is evil so we shall smite evil with guns, he might be a hero. What about the victim and victim’s family? The victims are kids, innocents, peasants, farmers, and don’t know anything about politics and the most disgusting truth is that we still don’t know if the lead event before G30S is really initiated by the rebellion of the said political party or by external factor driven by someone in the dark.

It is not that easy to consider someone as a hero, and this main character of FATE/ZERO knows that very well… in the end, and it is already too late. Chivalric idealism and knight’s honor will face what are called betrayal and corruption. Now, see this world today, is it full of chivalric idealism, naivety… or corruption?

FATE/ZERO is rare kind of anime that shows different perspective of our childhood, full of idealism and mind conflicts. For some of you who don’t like mind-blowing, mind-twisting, fighting scenes, blood, gore, child-abuse, and is a feminist, I don’t recommend this anime and its series (blame Uryuu and Caster, especially Zouken Matou). For the ones who love to think a lot like me, I really recommend it. If you can stand reading gore and body horror, I recommend the light novel.

For addition, in my opinion a true hero is the one who sacrifices him/herself for the sake of other with legal method and with motive other than to help people by doing it rightly, justly, humbly, with great calculation, and responsibility. The example is a teacher who is sent to serve poor children in poor village far away from modern lifestyle (take example all teachers who serve children in Kalimantan or Papua province of Indonesia) or you can watch “Laskar Pelangi” movie to know more about it. For me, my hero is my lecturer and professor who guided me doing my thesis. He’s not only my inspiration; he gives me true meaning to be a true hero.

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