God is dead.
God remains dead.
And we have killed him.

How shall we comfort ourselves,
the murderers of all murderers?

What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned
has bled to death under our knives:
who will wipe this blood off us?
what water is there for us to clean ourselves?
what festivals of atonement.
what sacred games shall we have to invent?

Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us?

Must we ourselves not become gods simply to appear worthy of it?

– Friedrich Nietzsche

my workplace

It was empty white room, just some strange machines, two PCs and two monitors, two air conditioners, and several chairs. A rather empty shelf on the side and two other desks: one for two more strange machines and the other is empty but made of aluminium. The room smells like operation room. It reeks of alcohol. It’s also cold, with the air conditioner temperature is set about 20-22 degree Celcius.

This Hitachi Scanning Electron Microscope is my new toy. This building is where I had dreamed working in before. And I am proud being one of (even though our finance isn’t good) employees in the biggest nanocenter in this country. That’s the only pride I can take.

This is where I choose to be. This is where I belong.

I’m blessed, I’m here because my college friend got a job in other company so she had to leave the lab. Also, there is no one wanting to be an operator, so I can take the job even though my knowledge of it is below zero. I didn’t get any training beforehand. I didn’t even know what kind of “good” is ‘good’. I just spoke my mind and analysis their samples without having to be afraid of being wrong (because those ain’t my job but I just like it) – it is fun.

I quickly enjoy it. I will always be alone until my client comes. I can do anything I want if I’m not working for a client. I don’t have shitty boss. I know what I work on and I know what the result is. I have my own office where I can be alone and sleep on the table like a hobo (partly because the lab should be free from everything so I have nowhere to stay. They gave me a room). I put some novels on the rack there. In the morning while I’m waiting for clients, I can play games and draw to my heart content.

Sometimes, the clients don’t have brains, but I can still manage them and give them helpful suggestion. I’m not their supervisor. I don’t know 99% of their researches. Their research isn’t mine anyway, so I just do my job based on their request alone. A professor came to me yelling one day, but it’s not my fucking fault. Even though the next week, his students come to me with now humane samples, he doesn’t apologize to me for saying this 1.2b microscope is a trash. The next shitty prof also didn’t trust me and did the observation on his own, proud of the pictures he took. I can only laugh at his arrogance. I operated them, the pictures I took are much clearer. I am still behind all the masters of this field, but I know I’m gradually improving. I’m just here for 4 months anyway. To master this field, I at least need 20 years. It’s okay.

Profs came to me asking why I’m not getting my doctoral degree. I understand – I am really tempted to do it. But I need a stable job and money more than anything else now, and I don’t want to see my own (bleak) future, not until I’m fully recovered from the depression I got last year working for shitty boss. Until I feel that I’m worthy to go back studying, I’ll just become a trash operator in this beautiful building, and be helpful to everyone who accepts me. I’m a servant to my ‘second-father’ who gives me this kind opportunity.

Ever since I quit Ragnarok Online roleplay group, I’ve deleted all the remnants of this doujin. I decide that this doujinshi remake and story is totally separated – my own stand alone project. I have lost motivation doing everything for people, so I do it only for the sake of myself and my own contentment. Don’t expect anything from it though, my writing and drawing’s totally a shit (lol).

Death Corps is new name for this series, inspired from gravity’s Ragnarok Online I’s Rachel’s Quest “Lost Boy” with some twists. I won’t make it pdf, just read them all in my pixiv account – and please respect me by not redistributing it anywhere else in the internet. Look, this poop is really embarrassing so don’t embarrass me any further by not respecting my wish, okay.

Warning: there are moral ambiguity, gray zones and implied homosexuality.

Date Created: December, 2014
Genre: Ragnarok Online Doujinshi
Language : English

Summary

Wiegraf Frost, Beowulf Cadmiel, and Rheis Duelle are chosen members of special squad called “Death Corps”, a name that is chosen to portray their job as King’s limbs. Their first task is to deliver a trade agreement letter to neighboring state of Arunafeltz, whose culture stems deep from its religious belief of Goddess Freyja. It is all just a mask to hide their true intention, however, the other side has same idea. The conflict starts – but ends in red.

Lunar New Year pictures have been sitting in my phone since forever. Although it’s been really late, I think there’s no harm sharing all of them for readers. This year’s been rough year for Chinese descents in Indonesia. Pilkada (governor election) in Indonesian capital city Jakarta whose candidate is from double minority (Christian Chinese) had shook the nation like it never had before. To compare “Christian Chinese” in Indonesia to “Black Muslim” in US is a bit exaggeration since we were never been driven to the corner socially. But you might have understood the similarities between us. Discrimination is inevitable. Short-minded people bash everyone they meet in the street just because they are “different”. They often selfishly proclaim that “majority has power, we kindly allow you to do as your wish among us but you have to submit to us” – more so in social media. The strain has become so strong that I had ever experienced being yelled “Chinese bastard!” by a random woman in the street when I was walking down the sidewalk.

There are so many articles and news everywhere in the world covering about Indonesian intolerance about minority group these days, especially about how radicalism grew wide and bore fruit – even – among moderates. From the eye of majority, CNY is often viewed as Chinese-exclusive ritual. Only few people know that it is definitely not. As you can browse in the next pictures I will show you, there are so many native people from any religion flock around the lion/dragon dance stage to watch and enjoy the performance. Many performers and wushu trainees are native too. It’s not “exclusive” at all.

One of many reasons this huge discrimination exists is because people don’t want to befriend people who has different religious view/ ethnic group. They don’t want to learn and enjoy culture other than their own. Most of radicals make excuse that it is “prohibited to do so”. It also includes “choosing minority whose religion different from them” just because they are told in their book that it is haramm. They say, in country whose majority is X, one shall choose X and is prohibited to choose any other. It is literally translated as “we’d rather choose unjust and corrupt person whose religion the same as us than choosing clean and just person from other religion”. These minorities are criminalized just because they speak their mind about this inhuman concept of “justice”, promoting radicalism and eventually tearing apart a nation. But there also emerges few people from moderates who are fed up. They begin to speak their mind to help powering minority’s struggle… but alas, it only creates endless pointless arguments. And sadly, they never stop.

This year’s Lunar New Year didn’t seem to give off intolerance vibe from outside. However, there are, I believe, people who still think that we live in the same world and together we will be brothers and sisters. Let us hope the second round of governor election will end in peace for both sides.

Wijayakusuma flower (Epiphyllum Anguliger), which is Sanskrit word for “flower of victory” bloomed beautifully in my house’s frontyard this year. Perhaps there seems nothing special about it, but for me, Flower of Victory’s full bloom is something that I admire a lot.

I’ve written something about Wijayakusuma flower – dated back in February 2012 – I mentioned that this flower rarely blooms, only once a year during midnight before this year. Because of it’s awfully short, I often miss seeing it in full bloom like this. As for the reason why it blooms rarely, it may be due to the weather. But this year, when I thought the weather would be really bad for flowers (it got this weird warm yet humid air) it bloomed one by one – always every day! It stopped blooming after every single flowers had sprouted from the leaves. The flowers only stayed for less than 6 hours, from midnight to about 6-7AM in the morning the next day.

Wijayakusuma was brought from China to this land during Majapahit era, long before Portugal or Dutch invade Indonesia. Javanese people believe that “people who see this flower blooms, will get blessing”. It may be due to the flowers’ short lives. As why it’s named “victory” – I haven’t had any idea…

As usual, taken without edit from my Nokia N8 phone (gosh, my phone’s really ancient). There is not enough background light since it was taken in about 5AM in the morning and Nokia’s flashlight wasn’t good. I wish I had better phone or pocket camera I can bring everywhere, but I have to be content with what I have for now.

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31_fuckoff

QUE Project: FUCK IT
(click the image for larger resolution)

I happen to encounter this comment in my newsfeed and wow, I don’t know how idiot humans can truly be. It’s not the first time I saw this species of trash humans. In fact, my company ex-boss was one. Let’s hope not all IT people are dicks.

NB: I am a quarter of computer scientist, seeing how I used to be in Computational Material lab. And I know how important multi-discipline science and engineering is.

QUE Project and all of the characters are belong to vnyx
Follow me on @facebook art page too! I’ve posted comics under photo gallery so you can browse through them easily.

30_weebs

QUE Project: PAINTSCHAINER
(click the image for larger resolution)

There is this website http://paintschainer.preferred.tech/ that can colorize your sketch or drawing automatically! It’s developed by Japanese, so… yea. Apparently it detects anime face better than realism/semi-realism one ಠ_ಠ.

QUE Project and all of the characters are belong to vnyx
Follow me on @facebook art page too! I’ve posted comics under photo gallery so you can browse through them easily.